Dog Say the Darnedest Things

Lady cat-watching

NOTE: Lady, our sixth and longest in-residence foster, left Texas en route to New York yesterday. She challenged us, brought us to question our methods and in so doing worked her way deeper into our hearts than any other foster to date. She is greatly missed.

Ever wonder what your fosters say about you behind your back? Oh trust me, they do talk amongst themselves when we aren't around.

Lady, our most recent foster, was in her final stage of crate training. For those few readers unfamiliar with the sport, Crate Training is convincing your dog partner that being caged is a good thing! Some dogs, like Lady, take more convincing than others.

We were leaving Lady caged for longer periods of time and at different times during daylight hours. To be fair, we confine Beano to his crate as well, sort of a remedial refresher course for him, too.

Lady being a “talker” ~ she has a wide range of vocalizations which she’s not shy about using. we know she and Beano must be swapping tales of woe betwixt their respective cells….

Lady: WELLOFALLTHENERVE!! CANYOUBELIEVETHEYJUSTWALKEDOUT!!

Beano: Put a sock in it, sister, no one’s around to hear your “Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me” routine.

Lady: HOW Could THEY??

Beano: Easy, kid, they don’t LIKE you that much.

Lady: Oh, Really!

Beano: Trust me, they’re counting the days until YOU, dear sister, are out of here!

Lady: Aw, come on. You’re just trying to frighten me because YOU’RE Jealous!

Beano: Fine. [BIG YAWNING SOUND] Don’t listen to me. No hair off my tail, honey.

Let’s see….Opal, as I recall, was the first. I kinda liked her a little bit. How long did she stay? Two weeks?  

YOU're still here?

Lady: What are you going on about???

Beano: Oh, nothing. I was just thinking back to the beginning of this Open-Your-Home-To-All-Comers catcrap “they” call FOSTERING.

Beano:  You know they're never coming back, don't you?

Lady:  WHAT? You're kidding, right?

Beano:  Oh, heck no! They do this to me ALL the time!

Lady:  What are we going to do? I have no food ... no toys! Arrrrgggh!

Beano:  Oh? No toys or food? My, oh my. They left plenty for me.  I even have your squirrel!

Lady:  I'm NEVER speaking to them again! NEVER. EVER. AGAIN!

Beano: Geez, I've never known them to let one of us STARVE to death…

Lady: What do you mean, starve!!

Beano: Leaving you locked up with no food and all. Dog, they must really be down on you!

Lady: They saved me from starving once! They will save me again!!

Beano: [SOUND OF CRUNCHING] Didn’t leave you so much as a pig stick, huh. Guess they’re having a tough time finding some place to dump you.

Lady: That’s it! I’m NOT listening to YOU anymore!! OHMYDOGWHEREARETHEY!!!

[SOUND OF KEYS AND DOOR OPENING]

Lady:  YOU'RE HOME YOU'RE HOME YOU'RE HOME!! LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!! Oh, I love you so much! I knew you'd be back!

Beano: YOU'RE HOME YOU'RE HOME YOU'RE HOME!! LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!! Oh, I love you so much! I knew you'd be back!